Friday, December 27, 2013

Stupidity...

A lot of things have happened to me this month that have hi-lighted my personal stupidity and self centred behaviour, most of it is stupidity.

The most embarrassing obviousness of my stupidity has been that my long time best friend of about 20 years confessed his romantical feelings for me.  This completely blind sided me, sort of, I think that I always knew.  I always loved him but not how I probably should have, but now that I know, as Tony the Tiger says "it's grrrreat!" I feel extremely enlightened and the possibilities now seem endless...the power of love?  Anyway so because I was walking about with this veil of "I have no idea" I informed my family of this happy news and they all said pretty much the same thing..."Yeah, duh, how did you not know?!" blah blah and so it continued.  Making me feel all the more stupid about being blind to what was one of the best things right in front of me. Apparently for all these years I was exercising what popular culture refers to as the "friend zone". Anyway its all out there now and my stupidity has been put on hold until I am again blind sided by this awesome man...I have a feeling there are going to be more happy surprises.

I can not drive! This is another stupidity of mine that I am ashamed to admit due to the fact that I am a woman and I would prove that woman can not drive.  I can not reverse in a straight line (well a long one) and I can not reverse park, unless everyone in the car pressures me into it (if I am by myself I will drive around forever until I find a non-reverse parking space).  The most embarrassing driving experience happened today, if you are drinking please put it down as this might make you spit it out.  I was leaving a car park and so I had to reverse out and then turn to go down the driveway, sounds pretty simple right? Well not when you are stupid like me! I reversed out fine and was clear of all other cars but then BAM! SCRAPE! CRASH! Foolishly I drove over a concrete gutter island thing and got my car straddled and stuck! 2 wheels one side and 2 wheels on the other! My car was turtled (sort of)! I was laughing so much I was crying! I didn't know what to do...I tried to drive forward and that just made me stall so I had to drive backwards wiggling the wheel or doing something that I thought would work.  Finally something happened and I managed to get off the concrete island. No one came to help me at all but no one laughed at me either, just me losing it in the car at how stupid I was! Why didn't I see the concrete island? Why didn't I stop when I heard the BAM? What is wrong with me?  Both my front tyres have what they call in the car business "gutter rash" and mechanics are always asking me "so what happened here" pointing at random dints and dings from my ridiculous traffic negotiation skills!

Saying stupid things is my all time best stupid thing that I do well.  It's not that I mean to say stupid things, they just come out.  Most of the time the words are just nonsense and is me regurgitating stupid things that float about in my brain (I just had a vision of Homer Simpson but I don't think I'm that bad...) but sometimes they hurt people.  It's not that I mean to offend I just sometimes don't think about others and their feelings or the age of the person that I am talking to.  I am not too sure if this is me being self centred or strongly opinionated (it's never really an an opinion most of the time its stupidity, as I said before).  Anyway, so I think that I have come to the realisation that I might be a bit too self centred about things but this could possibly be because I am the only one in my life, until now (refer above paragraph) hopefully this will make me be a little bit more thoughtful before I open my stupid mouth!

All I can say to conclude all this profound stupidity is that it has been jaw dropping, real, exciting and hilarious all at the same time!  I love that I concrete island'd my car...I wish that I could have been a witness!






1 comment:

  1. I wish I could have sent the Turtle Frieda. Oh my lord. HILARIOUS! Love you sista xoxo

    ReplyDelete

Listening to...Sir Lucious Left Foot:The Son Of Chico Dusty

So I am listening to the new album from Big Boi and I am finding myself hipping and hopping along to his awesome beats. There are a lot of collaborations on the album, however I don't really know most of the peeps he is collaborating with and I dont really care cause its all good shite. This album really gets ya feet a tapping and ya booty shaking. Most played songs so far are "shutterbugg","Daddy Fat Sax" & "Tangerine". There is a little dialog skit thing about getting David Blain'd and I am really hoping that this neva happens to me eva! Totally cracked me up and caused mountain dew to come out of my nostrils!
Big Boi is obviously a master, aussie hip hop take many many notes this is how the shit is done BOI!

Obession....A Spoonful of Sugar

Ok so due to man issues I have found comfort in all things sweet and unfortunately for my hips I discovered a store in the shitsville called "A Spoonful of Sugar". It should really be called a bucket full of sugar as everything in there is OTT sugar. I have only let myself indulge in the homemade fudge and have so far tried chocolate, double chocolate, turkish delight & jaffa. The fudge is soft gooey goodness that I think if everyone ate there would be no drama in the world, I mean really, chocolate really does just make you forget everything and kind of makes you say "at least there is chocolate", to all things bad. However it does have a dangerous side, for example I started buying 50g for $2.50 and have slowly been buying larger and larger pieces, I found myself handing over a $10 note this afternoon. This is not good for someone that is on a very very strict budget, do you think that the fudge makers at A Spoonful of Sugar are packing it with a sugar drug that makes you come back for more?!! I have noticed that there are regulars going back to the store at the same time as me, AND we are all buying fudge, not the boiled lollies or imported sweets etc, just the fudge! A Spoonfull of Sugar is on to something and I need to investigate further...more "research"is no doubt needed! (sorry hips)