routine

I drive down a street on my work that is doing dodgey shit with a bus and people that dress in black!
So I noticed this a while ago and just thought I was being paranoid but it has been 3 weeks now and I even left home early so I could park up and watch the goings on (yes I am THAT LAME, hence the name Lamestar)
So there is a vacant block, with a "temporary" fence surrounding its boundaries. In this fenced off vacant block is a marque with a security guard sitting in a chair, there is also another security guard sitting under an umbrella at the gate/drive way. So all these people dressed in black stand under this marque milling about talking and looking like they all know each other and are having a general good time, no one looks like they are being held against their own will. So then the bus turns up and the security guards stand to attention, the first guard unlocks the fence, yes the fence is locked, and lets the bus through to the guard at the marque, where it looks like he checks off a list and lets the people, dressed in all black, on the bus. Now this may not sound weird to you at all and I didn't think anything of it much either until I started to notice over the past 12 days that the people dressed in black ARE NEVER THE SAME PEOPLE!! I drive past this place at nearly the same time day Monday to Thursday, 8.30am give or take a few minutes, and trust me when I say its the same time as I have a small child so I am routine, routine, routine every morning! And I need to make it to work before 9am so I can get a park. So after the first week of noticing this I just thought oh well they must be just a transport service or something like that...but when I noticed that these people were different I thought hang on, not everyone I saw last week could have gone and brought a car and not needed to catch a bus, and hang on why are they locked in under the marque, what is soo special about this block, or these people. So I stop every morning now to watch these black clothed people to see if I can at least see one person that I saw the day before thinking that they might be shift workers or something?? But no they can't be there are a whole bus load of attractive looking people being bussed off somewhere to do something important or are joining a cult. I tried to drive past this morning without stopping but I can't it has become part of my daily routine and I even re-jigged our morning routine so I can sit and watch for 5-10 mins every morning.
I don't know what's going on and my imagination is going mental thinking about, I am not going to tell you the street that this is happening on in case it isn't really happening and I am really losing my marbles, imagining things that aren't there to make my existence that little bit more exciting. When I find my camera, which is probably hanging out with my sunnies, I am going to take some photos to prove to myself that I am not crazy, will I be breaking the law if I take these photos. What if I have noticed this strangeness and I am not suppose to and a powerful force tracks me down and makes me dress in black and catch a "metro" mini bus!

MINI ME & High Fives!

OMG what a week that me and the mini me have had! Monday started as any normal Monday morning, waking at 6.30am to mini me yelling out to me, I don't need an alarm she is like clockwork, and I have even trained her to sleep in on Sundays - 8am is her limit *high five* So yeah we got up had breaking,changed mini me into her daycare clothes put her down to play and went off to get myself ready for work. I was dancing around the bathroom and noticed that I couldn't hear the constant gabble coming from the lounge room that I normally hear, so I turned the radio down and just as I did I heard this blood curdling scream! I ran out to see mini sitting in the laundry SWIMMING IN A POOL OF LAUNDRY LIQUID! How she got the safety latch off the cupboard is beyond me, how she got the lid off the bottle is beyond, and WHY SHE KEPT ON RUBBING IT IN HER EYES IS BEYOND ME!!! So I had to do quick emergency procedure - take off all her clothes, saturate her in water shoving her face under the tap, and of course as soon as she hit water she turned to a slippery bubbly mess! Took about 20 mins to get it all off with no remains, but I still had to attack the eyes with water as they were still red and clearly still irritating her as she was screaming and rubbing like crazy. So on the blower to the Nga to ask her what to do - use an eye dropper you dick! Of course so got the eye dropper, pinned mini me down with my knee, had one hand holding her eye open and the other hand ready with the dropper. Mini me is one strong lil sandwich and we had a big wrestle until she wore out and I had free reign to drop water in her eye balls! Oh the pain and hate that she was expressing to me! So after 20 minutes of that I wiped her down with a towel, fresh change of clothes and a bikkie and she was all smiles and constant gabbing again, not phased at all, I on the other hand had felt like I had run a marathon sooo stressful and had to keep checking on her eyes to make sure she hadn't gone blind! Both eyes are ok *high five*
Tuesday goes ok with only minor bumps and bruises the usual stuff that comes with mini me being a junior explorer. I did however notice that her cough still hadn't disappeared and has been hangin around for about 3 weeks and counting, and she had really stinky smelly breath! So off we trot to the doctors to see if its anything major - yes she has a nose infection which spread to her throat and chest - how was I to know she had a sore throat! So antibiotics shld do and she'll be right mate! *high five*
Wednesday pick her up from daycare and am told that she had running twos and a running nose - running I say more like a fucken avalanche! Am told that 2 other babies were sent home due to sickness - great I say thanks for that ya mofos! So Wednesday night mini me's temp starts soaring and got up to 39.5 degrees, this is friggin sweaty hot for a baby! I smashed the panadol down her every 4 hours and did the sponge baths to help her cool down. She eventually drifted off to sleep around 4am. I was soo wired from the stress of it all that there was NO WAY that I would be drifting off to slumber land. Mini me was asleep in my bed, and I didn't want to totally pass out and roll over and squash her. So I sat up until 7.30am reading The Prisoner of Azkaban checking that mini me was still breathing and not so hot every 5 minutes, I made sure I called work and daycare to let them know of my adventure with mini me, then when I could not keep my eyes open any longer I passed out...next thing I know I am awake and its 10.30am - OMG we just got through her first fever YAY *high five* us!
Thursday is a day of rest for both of us, mini me sleeps heaps, eats little and sneezes/coughs all over everything.
Friday she goes to stay with Nga while I go to work to make up for Thursday that I missed and she has a grand ole' time painting; swimming; playing with Zeb; dancing at the pool pump; gardening; pulling all the loo roll off the roll *high five*; pulling all the pots and pans out of the cupboards;  and general rubebehaving. I go to pick her up hear all about her day and have to go to shop to buy Nga throat stuff cause she is feeling under the weather (OH NO) Take her home and she refuses any food at all so have a bath, give her her meds and then get ready for bed...notice that she is burning hot AGAIN! OH NO another long night awaits me! Not too bad this time just needed the panadol every 4 hours and was ok to sleep in her own bed *high five*!
Saturday opened its arms and welcomed me into the day with another crazy mini me day! After breakie and a  play outside we came in to have a juice and some fruit I had to excuse myself to do human things and when I had finished and went to wash my hands I found mini me drinking the Mercurochrome!! Again how did safety clip fail??!! Have I fucked them in their stoopid asses?? Am I a stoopid ass and haven't put them on properly? But I tested them against my super strength and they worked! Is mini me stronger than me??!! So yeah drinking the Mercurochrome meant that her mouth was all red, her hands were all red and all the white tiles around her were red!  So yeah heaps of fun cleaning that up, and she was smiling at me like a loon thinking that it was totally hilarious with her red teeth and face beaming! Then later that day when I was changing her two'd nappy I came across the word "kia-ora" *high five*- yes the word! She had eaten a mini magnet and it had come out the other end! CRACKED ME UP!! For those of you that don't know what Kia-Ora means, look it up LOL I had been wondering where all the mini magnets were going and now I have found one, have I missed the others or are they yet to come?!
Today, Sunday was a better day except I feel like I have been hit by a truck! Went through the whole day drugged to the hilt with pain killers and cold n flu tablets! I believe mini me has passed her sickness on to me, her Nga and quite possibly her aunty! I blame this all on that stoopid day care...do they really need to be in air con all the time? I know that they play outside in the mornings and arvies, but really how do you know that they actually are getting fresh air? I have put my trust in complete strangers to look after the wellbeing of my daughter and its pretty freaky, I feel bad probing them with concerning questions; do you sanitize toys; cushions; why is this baby here when he is clearly way too sick; but after all I am paying for a service and I  have the right to know, right? I only want the best! People have told me to get used to it that day care is the best place to catch anything that is going around and to be prepared to have many a day off work, then others have said nope apart from the snotty nose or little cough hadn't really had a problem. I am going to try and see as a way for her to build her own immune system, it will do her good I keep thinking, but I really don't want her to go through it again it was terrible and still is terrible, the cough is painful I can tell! But I guess its all part of single parenting and I need the money that having this job gives me, and its such a good job (so far)
So here's hoping that this week will be just as crazy to make it go just as fast, but without all the illness! Oh and on top of all this I lost all my files on my ext HD - no foates, no tv, no movies, no games, no documents! *high five* to me for not reading a formatting manual!

Junior Chefs

Ok so where do these little fuckers come from?? I mean really, they are amazing and they make me feel totally hopeless. I mean really whipping up pies in like 45min and them tasting like awesome, chef quality food! WTF
So do these kids just like hang out at home and cook all the time? Do they have friends or are they like genius's and immerse themselves in their talent 24/7. I am also curious to know what their parents are like. I am guessing that they wouldn't be like those american cheerleader mums, are there cooking comps? Or do you reckon they commission their kids to cook at their dinner parties LMAO Could you imagine that it would be soo awesome, you can pay in ice-cream, that the kids has made itself hahahaha
I am a bit worried about if the kid cooks a shit dish, I mean what are they going to do? Will they really say that it tasted like crap and it should have been better? Then the kid will have a mega spazzy on national TV and everyone will think that the presenter that said it was shit is an ass hole and his/her name will be put to shame, but they don't say its shit the kid will think that their cooking is awesome when it really isn't! Don't they say in the entertainment industry not to get into business with kids and animals? Well this show has killed itself before it has begun! And what are they going to do on the location cook team things that they play? Do the kids all stay in one apartment/house thing like the "real"version of this show??  I would love to see that hahahaha
All these crazy questions that I have about this stoopid show, I had to get it all out of my system. Phew feel heaps better!

Baby Proofing & The Hills

So my baby is nearly walking by herself and has used her standing skills to open up cupboards & drawers. I have been finding my make up in the toilet and the loo roll all unraveled and sprawled all over the floor. To combat the total disregard that my daughter has for our property I have tied all the drawers & cupboards together with string! Yes I am a single mum and can not afford to buy a forty dollar clip for all my cupboards! So now whenever I need to get into a cupboard or a drawer I have to untie the stoopid knot that I have skillfully tied - lets just say I could work on a yacht cause my knots are really hard to untie (is that a good thing on yachts?) Anyways so now that I have secured all the drawers and cupboards I have to deal with a cranky frustrated baby that stands at the cupboard pulling for dear life trying to get into whatever wonderland that she thinks lies behind the cupboard door. I have filmed this little frustrated dance/tantrum every time that is has happened (it has happened a lot) and I am planning on keeping them, for as long as technology will let me, and I will play them back to her when she is older to show her just how determined and dedicated she is to tasks! I think it will be really good for her self esteem! LMAO
I also have to keep the bathroom and toilet doors closed so that our bathroom products don't end up in the bottom of the loo. This is a hazard for me only at night when I forget that the loo door is closed and its dark and I walk straight into nearly knocking myself out! My swear jar makes a lot of money when this happens and I have not filmed this as I don't think it would help my daughters self esteem.
Due to my lack of a life, well no not really I do have a life, I am just sick of the music at the moment and the commy games are driving me mental! So I guess I am using The Hills like I do with music, have it playing in the back ground and only pay attention to when its worth it, which in this case is rarely! Anyways so because of this show that is playing ova and ova on my television I am finding myself wearing excessive eyeliner and I really really want to have super long hair! Which I know is fake, actually majority of these young ladies are fake - nails, hair, eye lashes, lips, tans, noses and even their silly little gammin "fights"seem fake. I guess what they say about hollywood is true "it changes people" And since I started watching from the beginning (Laguna Beach) and all the way through to The Hills all seasons, so in total that is 8 seasons, I don't even know how many episodes that is! I have noticed the changes that these "characters" have made, some are physical but most are in their attitude and outlook. What is really funny though is that they all talk about the "Hollywood Bubble"but yet they don't venture outside of the bubble or talk about anything that has relevance in the world, but I guess the show wasn't made to educate and excite, more I guess to entertain and make one envious. One thing I do have to say though is that I have been taking heaps of notes on places to eat in LA in hopes that one day I will get to go to these places cause the food that these people are eating looks amazing!  And they go to soo many places its totally crazy I dont think any of them know how to cook, but oh well I guess people like me need people like them so that I can be entertained (on some level).
Peace Out!  

back to the grind...

So I am back in the work place and I have mixed emotions about it all really. Firstly I am not too sure if I am the right person for the job...I have so far not been able to do anything that has been asked of me, most of the stuff I haven't done since I was a junior office person, so like 7 years ago!!! Luckily I have awesome friends that I can call on to send me pointers and directions. Secondly I have not had hand over from the previous person as they let her go cause they didn't want me to have her telling me what to do cause she was shit!!!! So I have to start from the bottom and work my way through it all, trying to make it my own, but also staying within the barriers that a bureaucratic environment offers LOL Thirdly its a medical environment and I have never worked in a profession like this before so I have NO IDEA what people are talking about, I have noticed that its all a load of acronym's so I have kinda been piecing it all together SLOWLY and I think I am getting the gist of it and someday I will totally be able to watch an episode of All Saints and totally know what they are on about. I said that to one of the nurses and he told me those shows are all shit and they don't even make sense to him and he has been a nurse for like nearly 15 years! WTF! Fourthly everyone in the office is in their mid to late 40's or older!! Seriously one of the ladies told me she was "going through the change of life" I asked her if she wanted me to turn the air con up for her LOL She laughed and said no she was just letting me know in case I was wondering why she was sweating!!
So basically stuck with a bunch of oldies that have really no idea what I will be doing or what I should be doing cause the boss is away and even when he is back they said he wont really know and wont really have time to tell me anyway! So I have admin contact people and a "supervisor" but they are situated in Brissy and I have to go down to meet them, but apparently this meet n greet wont be happening until late November, so at least a month till I meet my supervisor! And I have already been booked in to take courses and one of those is Web Publishing WTF! These courses will be happening in Brissy, so this is a good thing I guess in that I will have free travel to Brissy and Rubie can see her Dad, but I haven't actually done anything yet so how do they know I am worth it? They all seem to have this faith me and keep telling me they picked me for a reason, but I am not too sure...is it because I have been out of work for soo long and have zero confidence in myself? Will it take a while to find my work mojo? If so is there anyway I can speed this process up?
On the bright side of it all I am not working just to make a fat man rich, or for a boring or bleak service for the health system, far far far from it. I am actually working for Retrieval Health Services QLD and that is all emergency medicine/services,  they have developed all the procedures and services for emergency. I could totally go into detail and explain it all but your eyes will start to glaze over and you will stop reading my blog! LOL no not really I will actually be dealing with doctors/nurses and the emergencies that they assist with over the phone and on the teleconference/consult, yes they can see patients in rural hospitals that need to be transported to us or to bne. And all the 000 calls have to be logged with us so we can make sure everyone is following emergency procedure etc. So on my first day I got to see blood and guts!! YAY me!! So pretty intense day to day happenings - totally beats chasing down an outstanding debtor - but makes the day go really really quickly and before I know it 2pm has come round and its time to leave to go get little Rubie who has been left in the care of complete strangers But so far seems to have no problem with it at all. I drop her off and she waves good bye to start playing with her new friends and toys. Then when I come to pick her up she is all smiles and cuddles. Her minders think she is the greatest kid in the world and I tend to agree, but I am bias! So yeah no dramas with Rubie being in care, I am too busy during the day to think about her and when I pick her up she is happy and cheery so I am guessing she likes it? I had a little guilty attack the other night thinking that I am doing the wrong thing and I am being a slave to the dollar, when really I should be taking this time in my life to be with her and not worrying about money etc, but really I guess if we want to have a life beyond hanging out at home then I have to work. So I am trying to block the anxious and guilt ridden feelings out so I can stay positive and up beat about it all.
So when you hear the sirens think of your pal Lamestar typing/filing/faxing all the paperwork that goes along with it LOL

Footy Finals Fever

So tonight I am goin for the Titans, just cause I like Scotty Prince  and I think that the Rooster are being way too cocky (get it) for their own good! Now the Titans have got Preston back YAY and the last time they came up against the Roosters they beat them without him so heres hoping he makes all the difference to get the titans over the line, or it could go the other way and he could totally stuff it for them, but I am going to think positive! And I dont know how the minichello bro's  are gunna go playing against each other, I hope they have a massive blow up on the field and start punching the shit out of each other LOL Apparently there are over 45,000 packing into Suncorp stadium to watch the game tonight, and I think that is nearly the most it has seen in a while, cause we all know the Broncos had a dismal, dismal season this year!
So the other game happening this weekend for the NRL is Dragons v Tigers. Now I couldn't give 2 shits about this game at all. If I really want the Titans to win the premiership then I would have to say I want the Tigers to win cause I just don't think the Titans have it in them to beat the Dragons. Dragons are serio on fire this season and are going to be hard to beat! With Pakka's fave Jamie Soward  kicking like a machine and the team acting like a well oiled machine, on attack and defense, critics have said that's only cause of their brick wall defense that they are so successful. But if you look at the stats the Dragons have scored 21 tries from between the 21m and 50m lines - five more than the Tigers, this is again why I want the Tigers to win, they will be an easy beat for the Titans if they can defeat the Roosters tonight! I love the final matches cause the channel crap always pulls out the big rock ballad inspirational montages of big hits and awesome tries, some of them last for a whole song! Foo Fighters generally get good free advertising of their tunes this time of year LOL


Right the other big huge footy game on this weekend is the AFL Grand Final! Now I have only recently in the past few years learnt to appreciate our national football game. It also really does help viewing this game as 2 free to air channels have the airing rights so you can never miss a match. I am a little disappointed in my team 
the B Lions as they totally cocked up their season this year, they were doing ok in the first few rounds and then they just died in the ass, they became a bit of a joke with me and Pakka, but we kept on watching their matches praying and hoping they would pick their game up. Even with the Fav they couldn't do shit!
So the final is between St Kilda v Collingwood. Ok so I know sweet F-A about both these sides but I do know that Collingwood aka Magpies aka "the pies" are the favorites to take the premiership trophy, so naturally I am going to go for St Kilda aka "the saints". I love barricking for the under dogs and its even better when they kick ass and bring it home! I have no stats about any of these teams as I have only recently in the past few years started following teams, but I do know that Nick Riewoldt is a sexy beast  and I can't to see him strutting his junk around the field on Sat! Actually most of the AFL players are sexy beasts and serio shit all over those UG NRL players! I will be glued to my TV from 9am as there will be HEAPS of pre-game crap that I just LOVE to watch and Hughsy is pretty funs so it wont be too boring LOL

Day of Birth...

Its my 27th birthday on the 23rd of this month and that makes it a Thursday. Now I have always been one to have a big celebration for my life, who I ask would not want to celebrate my life?! But this year I am feeling a bit melancholy about it all. I think its cause I am turning 27 which has put me only 3 years away from being the big 3-Oh (no), I have no money to spare on excessive decorations or a yummy meal not prepared by myself, I have a daughter and that kind of hinders the prospect of going out & still no money to afford it,  I don't have any nice party shoes at all and to be honest I really I don't think people have the time for it, majority of people I have asked what they are up to it sounds as though they already have plans.
Now I have held some doozey parties in my time... For my 18th my sister and her friend took me and my bestie out in town for the very first time and we danced and drunk our way into a state of a pure drunken bliss, we even went to the strip club and had a lap dance. Every time I hear the destiny's child bootilicious song or kylie's can't get you out of my head I am whisked back to those really bad dance moves that I was inventing LOL My parents even paid for me to get a tattoo so that night out I was flashing it off to whomever wanted to have a look even if it was still bleeding and raw LMAO
For my 21st I organised a formal dinner at a restaurant on the water front. Everyone had to get dressed up to the 9's to enjoy good food and good wine, my grandparents from NZ were even there. I remember I brought these ridiculous stiletto heels with straps that wrapped all the way up my legs, needless to say these did not last very long on my feet and I ended up sitting down most of the night :(
Another one of my birthdays was held in a restaurant that had a sparkly light ceiling, I had soo many friends back then I think we nearly took up the whole restaurant. I got a free bottle of Moet Champagne from the owner, this was the first time I had Moet and to tell you the truth it tasted like shite! I remember saying to my Dad "is this it, is this what its suppose to taste like?" But hey we polished off the bottle and everyone had a grand old time, I think we drank all the vodka from the bar and they had to get another restaurant to run a bottle over LOL
My favorite birthday that I had was my 25th and I created a games night. I had everyone in coloured teams and they had there own tables with corresponding coloured decorations and everyone had to come dressed in their team colour. I had planned out the whole night with games for us all to play, there were prizes and everything. I had a ball being the host and watching everyone really get involved, it was a really great night. I am really, really disappointed that I have no photos from that night at all, like none at all! It would have been great to show off how I did up the back patio with all the balloons and spraklies :(
There is also another birthday that sticks in my memory and its such a shame that what happened happened cause it was a nice theme/idea (it was a garden party) however the punch was too much and I ruined my own party by doing something that makes me feel sick to the stomach still to this day and I wish, I wish I could take it all back and have it not happen (sorry sorry sorry). I have vowed to never ever drink punch again! I can't remember what age I was turning for that birthday!
Then there have the celebrations that were small but just as memorable, going bowling with my bestie & family, having a family bbq and getting drunkies and dancing the night away, going to the movies and a dinner with the special person at the time.
So I think maybe this year its time to do nothing yeah? Just let it float by and not recognise it at all, and due to rain and crazy sleepless nights the exercising has been on hold so I don't think my ass really needs a piece of cake. I am however really really excited about the 1st birthday that I get to plan real soon!! ooohh all those games and food excitement, excitement!  

Dancin Yeah

I have a confession to make...I LOVE DANCE MOVIES! Yes is it true and I am guessing that it started when my blister made me watch Dirty Dancing when I was little, not really one of my favourites, but still has that same sort of story...girl/guy struggling through life not really knowing where they belong or going or they just need to make some money to get out of the life they are lumped with etc etc and then are saved/set free by dance YAY.  Now my fave all time dance movie/s is "Step Up 1 & 2". I have not been lucky enough to see "Step Up 3D" yet, so if anyone has please let me know if its just as good as the others. I have recently watched "You Got Served" and I have to say the acting is really pretty pathetic and the movie is a bit broken and weird, but the dancing, oh the dancing its awesome and the struggle that the 2 lads have with each other and the rival rich white boy crew, its just totally awesome. Here is the final dance battle scene its totally off da hook yal LMAO 




Now my peeps here are my all time fave dance movies

1. Step Up 2 - yes I like this one better than the 1st one as it has a WAY better soundtrack
2. Step Up 1 - its just awesome!
3. Bring it On - I totally love the line about the cheer dudes sticking their fingers in the girlies when they are lifting them LMAO
4. You Got Served - that episode of Southpark now makes sense LMAO
5. Saturday Night Fever - I must have been in my early teens when I watched this and I remember telling my Mum all about it and how I was soo excited about it and I wanted to marry an italiano man LOL she then told me that her and my Pakka use to go to a dance studio to take lessons on how to disco dance!! Can you believe that shite how hills! And my aunt confirmed that this was true as she had to babysit so they could go :)
6. Billy Elliot - Did anyone else cry at the end of this film? I loved the fact that he stuck to it and become the star of swan lake, really was an inspirational movie
7. Mad Hot Ballroom - this is a doco that tells the story of primary students in NY and entering into a school citywide ballroom comp I wanted to put this higher but cause its a doco it really lacks in the cheese that is dance movies
8. Stomp The Yard - Dude getting off the streets and going to uni to learn how to stomp the yard!! OMG sexy friggin man bodies everywhere and we can all do the cobra pose together hiss hiss hiss ;)
9. Footloose - do I really need to say anymore? kevin bacon bringing dance back to a town, only downer is that it has SJP in it...I toally hate her, what is Matthew Broderick doing??!!
10. Top Hat - A best dance movie list would not be complete without a Fred Astaire movie, and its dancing with his legendary partner Ginger Rogers.
11.Centre Stage - just cause they did that lame dance sex scene thing and she was a rebel ballerina LMAO #2 totally sucks big hairy ball bags don't even bother, one good thing about it is that they have kept some of the main characters from the first one but its mega mega mega too much cheese
12. Shall We Dance - poor poor Richard Gere getting sucked into J-Lo's amazing moves and sexy bod yall! And are his eyes open at all??!!
13. Honey - I mean really her name is HONEY!! And she has all the smooth moves LOL

Well thats all that I can be bothered with, and yes I know there are more but I refuse to put them on MY list...yes I am talking about you Julia Flatface! Save the Last shit was total SHIT!!!

One that I have not seen yet but totally want to is "White Nights" from the 80's and is ballet & tap with Russian men, what more could you ask for?!

New Found Stress...

I have begun to experience a different level of stress that I have never in my life ever come across before. The stress of making sure that the decisions in my life are the right ones for not myself, but my daughter! Its soo friggin weird, I have always been so selfish in my "life"decisions it was always about what I wanted to do and what was good for me. Even when I was in a long term relationship there wasn't really a stress of worry about the other person as he just did what ever he wanted or tagged along with me. But no this stress is REAL, like not stress about OMG I hope I haven't fucked up at work or OMG I hope the landlord doesn't notice that hole or OMG he hasn't come home etc etc. This is real life changing decision making stress. Like I want to go back to work, but I don't want to leave my daughter in the care of complete strangers, that will institutionalise her and conform her into a routine baby (I am one of those "new mothers"and use the "baby led" technique of raising my daughter, she calls the shots) But I need to make more money for us so I can afford to put her into a decent school and so we can travel and see the world, not that she is at an age to remember, but I will (selfishness strikes again). So I have been drinking the past few nights trying to ignore all the what if's that are eating away at me and then going through all different scenarios of what I could do. I guess it would be easier if the government changed the ruling on child care benefits. Yes I have realised just how féd up the government is with CCB. I was always one of those that said oh F off you friggin families always crapping on about wanting more benefits etc and now I understand why! Its F'ED UP people really it is, I am not going to go into details cause it's just too infuriating! And of course I have to say it, it would be heaps easier if I had a partner to share this REAL stress with. Someone to nut it out with, writing pro's and con's on a sheet of paper just doesn't seem to do it for me and there is only so much that you can harp on about with friends and family. These are really life changing decisions and I try to just keep mantra'ing to myself "just go with the flow, what will happen will happen, what you put out will come back etc etc"but its really hard!! What if my daughter grows up and asks me why I did things the way I did and why didn't I do this etc I guess I will just have to tell her to shut up and study hard and be a doctor/lawyer/judge so this shit doesn't happen to her LMAO Yes I have become one of those...maybe someone could write a movie about my hard life one day LMAO Anyways I am going to go back to the really cheap, but nice beer from El Salvador that I found, serio cheap was $9.95 for a 6 pack!! c'mon warriors don't let me down AGAIN!

I am stealing from the King....

Lets play hit or shit....



like I need to say this SHIT!



me say...HIT booyah



definitely a HIT and my best wishes go out to this band as one of the members committed suicide the other day :( sadness they were coming to Oz for a tour but obviously thats not happening now :(



HIT! Me and lil Pern love this song and all ways krank it up and ROCK IT!!



HIT - thanks puke you were no help had to call on the blister and her techno phone :)



I really hate to the say this but for me its a SHIT :(  I dont even like the video!



Now this one I am undecided not too sure if its a hit or a shit! LOL you tell me...

Oh and if anyone can help me I saw a music vid the other week and it was 2 people walking with shit being written all over their shirts (was way better than my description), was one of the coolest videos I have seen in ages! Please help me :)

"My Lawn Looks Like Shmootz!''

So I am having a hard time figuring out what to do with my back garden. I have put a few potted plants around to make it look a little decent but I don't think its working! There is no shade, the ground is uneven and I think I have lawn bugs, well according to this guy I have lawn bugs...he is from america, but grass is grass right?

So here are some pics of my lawn to show you that yes I do think I have lawn bugs, if anyone out there can lend a hand please let me know.

evidence of lawn bug eating my grass

another patch of grass missing!

Right so I was thinking of planting some small shrubs along the fences and maybe digging an area level to lay some pavers but I am really not too sure if I want to, this place isn't mine and I only have a 6 month lease. Maybe when I get some more money I could put the plants in pots and when I leave I can take the plants with me. What to do about the shade?? Buy a pergola and an umbrella ella ella eh eh eh for the table? Or some how maori up some sexy shade cloth off the fence? I have fairy lights I want to hook up out the back too cause it starts heating up yall me and the rube machine will be outside..."lets go outside, in the sunshine, you know you want to but you can't say yes..."gotta love the george
Anyways living in the shitsville you really do need have an awesome outdoors area so I will try and pull a green thumb out of my ass and get cracka lacking on it!

Policraps!

So dreamnt about friggin politicians! Julia was my bestie and we were in the school yard teasing Tony, it even got violent and we were chucking rocks at him, yes we were stoning Tony Abbott, I was only following Julia's lead mind you, she was the instigator.  What does all this mean? Does it mean that Julia really is a nasty pasty and is just all about teasing, taunting and belittleing her opponent? Or does it mean that Tony is a turd and can't stand up for himself? I am going to analyse this dream to mean that I am confused as to where I stand politically, I don't think it necessarily means for me to vote for Julia or that I hate Tony - because I think they are both fucken stoopid and the fact that I am besties with Julia speaks volumes that its a contradiction of my true feelings. I reckon it was only cause I fell asleep watching Dateline and that was after watching Q&A. Total overload of politics! Then last night I had a dream about Tony Abbott and I was on his campaign team and I had to have an interview with an economist that I used to work with about all the policies that Tony is promising. I really did know my shit and totally sounded like a pro. So I went into my old work place to see said economist and OMG peeps I was telling him about the dream and he told me that he had done a local interview that morning on the election etc! Can you believe this shit I am totally a psychic! Add another 4 legs/arms on me and call me Paul! I would also like to comment on Julia's hair, she is apparently in a relationship with a hairdresser WTF Does he travel on the campaign trail with her and get paid as her stylist? or does he style it and then tell her how to style it each morning? And who would pay him? Julia herself or is he a government employee?? And when did he start seeing her and doing her hair??...
before said hairdresser b/f? I think so

hmmm can you see the difference? He even changed the colour to make her a not so obvious ginger. She is more of a trendy red now rather than a minger orange!

So anyway I will leave you with some pics of politicians in togs just for Tony LOL, see if you can guess who they are


peace out and stay happy...

crappy thrs nite...

ok so I always find myself watching channel 7 on a thrs nite and I am sick of it. It seems that I have dedicated these nites to sit in front of my lap top just generally crapping around on the net and in the back ground the tv is dedicated to channel 7 ALL nite. So it starts with the Matty Johns Footy Show and I am really embarro to say that I actually really like this show. I know I know gasp shock horror crap crap crap. But thats just it...it is crap, its good ole fashion crap and I think he knows it, like its not taken seriously its just a bunch of stoopid shit happnin on the telly and I mean like really stoopid shit. Matty's impersonation of Don Burke it totally redic and ott that I dont even laugh at it, I dont know who his writers are or if he writes his own skits but serio SO LAME not funny, and yet I can't bring myself to change the channel...Y Y Y do you think that I am secretly attracted to this gang bangin bad man of NRL or could it be that I am a real bogan in my heart of hearts....hang on does living in shitsville auto make me a bogan?


are these bogans or trash? where do you draw the line? I think americans are trash and the oz equivalent is a bogan???



Whilst I have been looking at kkkrazy white trash and bogan pics and watching the matty johns show I am suppose to be doing selection criteria so I can get a job and get more money so I can travel the world with my daughter...I have a secret mission to take her to Disneyland in Orlando OMG I might see some real life white trash peeps, we will have to go to a Walmart!! Anyways I am sounding like a total wanky wank in all my answers! Y do they ask questions to make you sound like a pretentious ass!! I mean really if I get interviewed for any of these jobs I swear they are going to be totally shocked that my verbal answers will not sound as educated and confident as they do on paper! Are the government setting me up for failure does anyone applying for these jobs ACTUALLY get the job? OR do they just do internal transfers and never contact you again....this thinking is getting me down so I am going to stop. How I Met Your Mother is on channel 7 now and I do not understand it at all!! Is this an ongoing story being told to children about how 2 peeps got together, if so where are the children and who is the couple telling the story?? I am sooo confused!
I know a guy that looks like doogie houser but gets totally offened if you tell him that HA what a lame ass!
 

ehore

Someone told me that they were on a Milo diet, I am going to list the benefits of drinking Milo

1. 6 Vitamins and Minerals (fuck yeah)
2. Rich in Protein (tastes better than sprog)
3. Made from Malted Barley (so natural yeah?)
4. A good source of energy for active bodies (we are all active rnt we?)
5. Low GI rating so keeps energy levels steady (so now sugar rushes with a big crash and burn)
6. If you drink with milk you will be getting a calcium hit as well (not sure what else you could drink Milo with...)
7. It comes in an awesome tin that you can use when you have finished eating/drinking you can use as a musical instrument (serio dont knock it till you try it)
8. Its called a "food drink"so you can just eat it straight out of the tin if you want (be careful not to take too much in your mouth as it is dry and you could choke!)
9. Is awesome on ice cream (need I say more?)
10. ITS JUST AWESOME

So I guess you could say I totally endorse this diet and would highly recommend it to anyone on a strict budget or low income

I have discovered! Yo Gabba Gabba, a crazy kids show that has cameo's from all sorts of famous actors and musicians. Episodes I have watched so far have had Chromeo (my fave), Rhys Darby, MGMT and I am sure there are more stars to come, I heard a rumour that Jack Black stars in an episode. Now dont worry peeps I am not such a loser that I sit at home watching kids shows all on my lonesome...I watch them with my 8 month old daughter...yes she is only 8 months.  But she is fixated with the bright colours and kkrrraazzzyyy music that is Yo Gabba Gabba. I totally praise the dudes that have invented this amazingly imaginative and far out kids show, shits all ova wiggles and dora the dick! If you are like me and at home most mornings with nothing better to do then switch on the box to ABC 2 and have a go ya mug!!

Konichiwa

HiHo
Boredom has driven me to this and I am hoping that boredom will drive you to read this...or that might not really work will it! OMG nooo boredom might drive you away! Anyways I am a virgin so it can only get better, can't it?